In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty

I let my heart get the best of me again. I have been holding back a lot lately when it comes to dating. One big reason is I haven't really found someone who I was willing to date. Yes, I have been kinda picky but I don't really see that as a bad thing at this point. I'd been hurt too much to just let myself open up to anyone. Then I met Derek. As cliche as it might sound, we just clicked. I could talk to him for hours, and we never ran out of things to say (which is very uncommon with me). I was attracted to him, he seemed to be attracted to me. But you know how they say things that seem too good to be true usually are? I think that's what happened. We finally had time to see each other last night so we met half way which was Duchesne. We played in a park and turned his backseat into a movie theater by watching a movie on his laptop. We talked, laughed, listened to music (thankfully we like the same stuff), and simply enjoyed each others company. This is when things got weird. This morning I text him to say good morning like I always do but he didn't respond. I wasn't really worried since it was early on a weekend and we had been out late the night before. Finally at noon he said he had been sleeping, but that's all I've heard from him all day.

I know I sound super pathetic, but it is just odd. We always talk. Maybe I am just overreacting, but I don't like this. We finally get to spend time together and that's when he decides that he is done talking to me? I need to stop having feelings. That's the plan now...

When family isn't family

Without going into extreme detail, I have truly come to the conclusion that some family, isn't really family at all. My Uncle Bob is the best person who I can describe when it comes to matters like this. He's anti social, doesn't care about me or my sister at all, and kinda tries to make our lives miserable. Brooklyn and I approached him asking for help for a certain situation. He has turned this into a bigger deal than it needs to be, and it's becoming a problem for us.

So now Brooklyn and I are stuck trying to find a place to live in Salt Lake, and not in the manner of which we would have preferred. I hate the idea of renting more. I found us a nice apartment, not too expensive, they will allow our dog, but it's farther way from the U than we would have liked.

I guess beggars can't be choosers, but it doesn't mean that I have to like this any less.

Daddy

Going into the night, I knew it would be a rough one for me. Brooklyn and Drill Team have just gone hand in hand for the past four years. It is hard to imagine not traveling to attend all of her competitions. It also is hard because Kara Lynne is done now, and she has left such a legacy, not on at Wasatch, but in the entire dance community. I already knew I would cry, but not like I did by the time the night was over.

I feel lucky that my dad's best friend lives in Midway. Ernie's daughters have become close with not only me, but Brooklyn too. Tori is a cheerleader for Wasatch and performed a routine at the Spectacular tonight. Ernie not only came, but took the time to talk to my mom, Brooklyn, and me. He cried with us as we talked about dad, how we all miss him, how he would be proud of us, and so much more. I didn't think I could let something like that get to me in that way. It's nice knowing that someone knew my dad, before he had his problems, and could help me and my sister. Nothing is ever going to take the pain away, but it's amazing knowing that someone knows how we feel.